10-Year-Old Child Development Milestones

As children reach the age of 10, many perceive themselves as being almost teenagers. While some 10-year-olds will start looking and acting more mature, others will remain more childlike, both physically and emotionally.

"Ten-year-olds are emerging adolescents. Their bodies and brains are going through these tremendous changes," explains Aliza Pressman, PhD, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics and psychologist at Mount Sinai Kravis Children’s Hospital.

However, regardless of how old they may seem, don't forget that they're still children in need of parental support and guidance. Being 10 years old is a period of monumental transition that can offer challenges and delights as children embrace the approach of the tween years.

10-Year-Old Language and Cognitive Milestones

Right before your eyes, your 10-year-old seems to blossom from a little kid into a much bigger one with emerging critical thinking skills, huge advances in academic learning, a drive for independence, a growing social life, and a lot to say. They begin to have a greater awareness of the perspectives of others and how they relate to their own.

Language skills

Parents may notice that around age 10, children start thinking and sounding almost “grown-up.” Children this age are on the cusp of adolescence, and they have the language skills and cognitive ability to gather information and formulate well-organized thoughts. As such, many 10-year-old children can be effective conversationalists at dinner and social gatherings, capable of expressing their thoughts on current events, books, music, art, and other subjects.

"Engage your 10-year-old in their critical thinking skills," says Dr. Pressman. At this age, they can contribute their ideas, solutions, and plans. "They can come up with a roadmap for things they want to do. Your job as the caregiver is to listen, offer guidance when solicited, and help promote their agency."

They'll be able to analyze stories, offer criticism, and their ability to think logically will become more pronounced. Kids this age will also be able to write persuasive essays and argue viewpoints and opinions with more confidence and organization.​

Academic skills

Learning accelerates significantly in fifth grade as children prepare for the middle school years. It's in fifth and sixth grade that kids begin to tackle more complicated materials in math, reading, and other subjects. "Ten-year-olds are on the cusp of entering middle school and tend to be very much in this tween mindset, straddling being kids and emerging into being teenagers," says Mollie Greves Grow, MD, MPH, a pediatrician at Seattle Children's Hospital.

In math, fifth graders can be expected to work with fractions, hone multiplication and division skills, and learn more complex geometry concepts. Your 10-year-old will start to practice more mental math skills and will be increasingly able to use logic and abstract thinking to solve verbal math problems. 

When studying other subjects, such as history or social studies, 10-year-old children will expand their research skills and use resources such as library books and websites for school projects. Your 10-year-old will be transitioning toward greater independence in managing school work and homework, requiring less supervision from parents.

Interests

Many 10-year-olds enjoy active play and team sports, but some may prefer individual activities like art, music, reading, or getting out in nature. Your child may follow their favorite sports teams and know all the details of their favorite TV programs. At this point, they're also aware of popular singers and groups, as well as their favorite celebrities.

Most 10-year-olds enjoy using electronics. If they don't have one already, chances are they want to have a phone. They're often interested in taking pictures or they may enjoy playing video games.

10-Year-Old Physical Milestones

Some 10-year-olds will already be going through puberty, while others may take a year or two more to begin. "It’s important to remember, not all kids develop at the same rate," says Jacob Sheff, DO, a pediatrician with Providence Health. "Around this age, you may start seeing some children look and act more mature, relative to others the same age, who still appear more childlike, both physically and emotionally."

Growth spurts

Many children experience major growth spurts by the time they reach the fifth grade. Girls tend to develop and grow at a faster pace. They may suddenly find themselves towering over boys their age, and many are developing breast buds. Some may even be starting their period.

By contrast, some 10-year-old boys may only just be beginning to show the signs of puberty, while others have to wait until they're 11, 12, or even 13. This disparity in growth can create discomfort in many children, either because they're growing "too fast" or "not fast enough."

Growing pains and injuries

"With the early stages of puberty kicking into gear, you will begin to see growing pains or muscle cramps," says Dr. Sheff. Additionally, many children this age are very physically active, putting them at risk of "overuse injuries," he notes. These injuries happen due to repetitive actions, such as throwing a baseball or jumping repeatedly, putting excess stress on their growing bones.

Sleep

Sleep is very important for kids of all ages, particularly when they're going through so much physical and emotional growth. Remember that although 10-year-olds often act more mature, they still need an early bedtime. Children this age should get between 9 and 12 hours of sleep each night.

10-Year-Old Emotional and Social Milestones

At 10 years of age, children are developing a better sense of who they are in the world. Many are preparing for middle school and getting ready to navigate new social settings.

Coping with the changes of puberty

Wherever your child is in puberty, they may have a lot of questions and may not know where to get accurate answers. Kids often seek out their friends more and put a lot of energy into their social lives. However, kids still want the approval and guidance of their parents. A 10-year-old tends to feel very close to their parents, siblings, and extended family.

"With increasing self-awareness and attention paid to peers, the different rates of development may result in self-consciousness about their growing 'too fast' or 'not enough,'" says Dr. Sheff. Often kids this age become more concerned with grooming, clothing, physical appearance, and acceptance from their peers.

Emotional intelligence

At age 10, your child will have more complex feelings and control over their emotions. However, they may also struggle with keeping them in check at times. You may see them becoming more skilled at handling conflict and negotiating solutions with friends. At the same time, you may see some volatility in their friendships, feelings, and interests. They may have frequent squabbles with siblings, fighting especially with younger siblings.

Expanding social skills

Ten-year-olds often cope with cliques—as an insider, an outsider, or both—on a daily basis. At 10, kids may become very attached to their friends. Other friendships tend to be based on mutual interests rather than close, personal feelings.

Peer pressure can play a big role in the social relationships of most 10-year-olds. At this age, kids will be eager to fit in by wearing the "right" clothes, listening to the "right" music, or liking and disliking the same things.

Acceptance by the peer group is a critical step that seems to have a strong effect on the next level of development. Poor peer acceptance at age 10 is a strong predictor of behavioral and emotional problems in adolescence.

It's common at this age to begin to show romantic interest in other kids as well as explore gender identity and sexuality.

Stress

Another factor that can play a role in mood swings is stress as 10-year-olds deal with the physical changes and other shifts in their life. A 10-year-old child may be trying to keep up with more difficult schoolwork, working to fit in and socialize with friends, coping with an influx of hormones, and dealing with the physical transitions of growing up.

Other Milestones for Your 10-Year-Old

Children this age may place more emphasis on physical appearance and want to conform with peers. Body image issues can also develop at this age in some children. Ten-year-olds are becoming more aware of their bodies and are likely to want privacy when bathing and dressing.

Be a good role model when it comes to body image, physical activity, and self-acceptance. Avoid making comments that criticize your own body and set an example of healthy eating habits.

"One of the most important things that 10-year-olds are trying to develop is more autonomy," says Dr. Grow. They can take on more responsibility, including tackling more things independently like chores and schoolwork, and use their time wisely.

They'll still need supervision with some tasks, but it's important to support their emerging autonomy by letting them take on new challenges when appropriate.

How To Help Your 10-Year-Old Learn and Grow

There are many ways to foster growth among your 10-year-old, but here are a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this new territory:

• Spend quality time with your child.
• Let them know you love and value them no matter what.
• Listen to them more than you talk.
• Be their safe space for sharing their triumphs and challenges.
• Let them vent and be angry or sad, but still expect reasonable behavior and follow up with related consequences, as needed. ("Your mantra should be all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not," says Dr. Pressman.)
• Have household rules with set consequences for infractions.
• Talk to your child about what goals they want to reach and the freedoms they would like, and make agreements about what they need to do to achieve these aims.
• Allow your child to have some privacy with friends. (Holding private conversations and sharing secrets is socially appropriate at this age and it can be important to your child’s healthy development.)
• Aim to provide autonomy support. ("Let your child do what they are capable of doing, guide and support them for the things they can almost do, and teach them what they are not yet ready to do on their own," says Dr. Pressman.)
• Encourage good study habits; you can provide support, but don't do their work for them.
• Teach your child how to deal with uncomfortable emotions, including frustration, anger, disappointment, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and boredom.

How To Keep Your 10-Year-Old Safe

As your 10-year-old grows in maturity, it's natural for them to gain more responsibility and autonomy. Still, they need parental oversight to keep them safe, says Dr. Grow. Be sure to know who their friends are and where they're at—plus what video games, social media, and movies they're digesting.

Allow them to try out greater freedoms, such as a later bedtime or walking to a friend's house, but be ready to pull back if things don't go well or they need more supervision.

"Social media has been identified as a recent phenomenon that, although designed to have a positive impact in people’s lives, can actually result in users feeling worse about themselves," says Dr. Sheff. Monitor your child's use of social media, as well as their access to the internet, generally.

Talk to your child about peer pressure, their changing body, mental health, healthy sleep habits, nutritious food, social media, and other social issues. Let them know you're always there for them.

When To Be Concerned About Your 10-Year-Old

It's typical for 10-year-olds to occasionally experience moodiness, so if your child’s bad temper only comes out occasionally, it’s probably nothing to worry about, says Dr. Grow. But if your child becomes overly emotional, withdrawn, aggressive, or has angry outbursts that interfere with their relationships, it could be a sign of a bigger problem, such as depression or anxiety.

If you see behavioral or personality changes, such as trouble sleeping or eating or not wanting to go to school, for example, talk to your child’s pediatrician or teacher, advises Dr. Grow.

Children of this age also develop physically at different rates. Always emphasize the importance of health and function over appearance, says Dr. Pressman. If you notice issues around food, exercise, or negative body image, contact a pediatrician or therapist for guidance.

If you're worried that your child is not developing as they should, start by reminding yourself that now is a time of transition for a 10-year-old. There's not a set place as to where your child should be. While some will be toying with makeup, social media, and sports, others may be happy playing with dolls or reading comic books, says Dr. Grow. Both are fine and perfectly healthy.