What Is Emotional Child Abuse?

Emotional child abuse, sometimes called psychological abuse, is a pattern of behavior that damages a child's sense of self-worth and negatively impacts their emotional development. In addition to withholding love and support, the parent or caregiver perpetrating the emotional maltreatment may also reject, criticize, threaten, demean, and berate the child.

Emotional abuse can occur in conjunction with physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect. But emotional child abuse is often one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize. Often, it is subtle and insidious, slowly chipping away at the child's self-esteem and sense of safety and belonging.

Experiencing emotional abuse is linked with devastating lasting effects, including increased rates of disease and mental health disorders. Learn more about emotional child abuse, including how to spot it and what to do.

Signs of Emotional Child Maltreatment

Emotional abuse can be harder to detect than other forms of child abuse. Typically, it takes place in the confines of a child’s home, often with no outside witnesses. There might not be any obvious, outward signs that abuse is taking place (as there may be with physical abuse). Sometimes, a child's behavior is the only thing that indicates a problem.

You might assume that a child being abused wouldn't be attached to the adult caregiver who is abusing them, but this is not always the case. Children often remain loyal to the person who is abusing them. Parent-child relationships are complex, and children typically want the approval and love of their parents, even if their caretaker is abusive. Plus, they may be afraid of what will happen if they disclose the abuse.

An emotionally abused child also might think that being called names, being heavily criticized, or being denied affection is a normal way of life. They might not tell anyone about the abuse because they believe their experiences represent normal family behavior. They may also be embarrassed or think it's their fault.

While a child is more likely to be abused by a caregiver or family member, any authority figure can be abusive like a coach, daycare worker, teacher, religious leader, or even an older sibling.

Types of Emotional Child Abuse

Emotional child abuse can take several forms. At one end of the spectrum are insults or belittling words or actions, while the other end can be total indifference and emotional neglect. A caregiver who is emotionally abusive often uses words, but their actions also can be abusive—and sometimes, it's a lack of action that is abusive.

When a parent or caregiver doesn't show a child love or make them feel wanted, secure, and worthy, these actions result in emotional deprivation. People who are emotionally abusive also may withhold physical affection or loving touch, both of which are essential to a child's emotional development and feeling of security and belonging.

Any person in a child's life can be emotionally abusive and the abuse can take many forms. Examples of emotional abuse include a babysitter who constantly screams at the kids and makes threats, a step-parent who says that they wish a child didn't exist, a teacher who makes fun of a child in front of the class, or a parent with alcohol use disorder who gets angry when they drink.

Risk Factors for Emotional Abuse

Parents might be more likely to engage in emotional abuse because of the following risk factors:

• Experiencing emotional abuse as a child
• Social isolation or separation from extended family
• Having a physical or mental illness such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or depression
• Using drugs or alcohol
• Dealing with financial stress, unemployment, or poverty
• Marital conflicts
• Feeling jealousy, anger, or resentment toward their child or child care responsibilities
• Lacking parenting skills or an understanding of child development
  

Of course, not all people in these situations are emotionally abusive, and children do not cause another person to be emotionally abusive. Engaging in the emotional abuse of a child is a choice—intentional or not—that the perpetrator makes.

While certain risk factors may increase the likelihood that someone is emotionally abusive, the person still has agency and can learn to make better, less damaging choices.

Impact of Emotional Maltreatment

The consequences of child abuse in any form can be severe and often persist well into adulthood. A child who experiences emotional abuse often believes that they are responsible for the abuse and that it means they are unloved, unlovable, and unwanted.

Attachment issues

Emotional abuse can interfere with a child’s ability to form and maintain healthy attachments. Attachment issues in early childhood have been linked to insecure attachments in adulthood. Children also might be at an increased risk for poor peer relations, trouble with intimacy, difficulty with conflict resolution, and relational aggression.

Behavioral and social problems

Emotional abuse in childhood has also been linked to delinquency and sexually aggressive behavior in young adults. Problems at school and with peers are also more common in children who are emotionally abused.

Repeating the cycle of abuse

Without appropriate intervention, people who were abused as children are more likely to abuse their kids than people who did not experience abuse. Stopping the abuse and helping the child cope and process the trauma they experienced can reduce the likelihood of the cycle of abuse continuing to the next generation.

Suicide and mental illness

Teens who experienced emotional abuse as children are more likely to be diagnosed with at least one mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, which can persist into adulthood. People with a history of emotional abuse are also at an increased risk of self-harm, including suicide.

Societal harm

Emotional abuse doesn't just have a negative effect on individuals and families; it also strains society as a whole. The consequences of abuse burden the health and social care systems, and is costly because of increased educational failure, crime, and the need for mental health services.

Not everyone who has a history of emotional abuse experiences lifelong scars. The duration, severity, and age of onset of the abuse—as well as the personal coping skills and resources of support available to the child—are influential factors. For example, having other supportive adults in their lives also can offset the impact of emotional abuse.

What To Do If You Suspect a Child Is Being Emotionally Abused

Mandated reporters are people who encounter children through their occupation, including daycare providers, educators, legal and law enforcement personnel, and medical personnel. These people have a legal obligation to report suspected emotional abuse just as they do physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect.

If you suspect that a child is being emotionally abused, don't hesitate to report it to social services—even if you are not a mandated reporter. If you're a parent and think your child is being emotionally abused by someone else, take steps to intervene. You might need to enlist professional help, such as from the person's boss, social services, or police, to keep your child safe.

If you have emotionally abused your child, or if a partner or co-parent is emotionally abusive, it's important for both your mental health and your child's that you ask for help. Working with a therapist can be beneficial for you and your family.

Treatment for Emotional Abuse

If a child is being emotionally abused, the first course of action is to ensure the child’s safety. Then, appropriate treatment can begin. The perpetrator might also require treatment, especially if it’s a parent.

Those who have experienced emotional abuse often benefit from therapy with a licensed mental health professional. Once they have processed what they went through emotionally, they can begin the healing process and learn healthy coping mechanisms, social skills, and conflict resolution.

Coping With Emotional Maltreatment

Although coping with the effects of emotional abuse takes time, some factors can have a protective effect, such as having a positive relationship with another trusted adult.

Be a consistent, loving presence in their lives by spending time with them, encouraging them, and reminding them of their value and worth. Help them see that they are not defined by the words and actions of the person abusing them. Instead, empower them to see their strengths and to set goals for the future.